Hi all. This is another short tease from Bettina. I'm breaking it up into 250 word parts to draw it out - because I don't want to post anymore of Nikki's Wish, and I only have up to chapter three written of this "new" draft. I'm so sneaky that way. I think I may have forgotten to mention that this takes place in 1962, so if it sounds a little outdated, that's why. Enjoy!
The spatula is cramping my hand, and I want to give up now, just walk away and say the hell with it. Damned with whatever conclusion Jessica has drawn. But I don’t because the thing that’s jamming the drawer has made itself known.
“Actually, I think I have found something,” I say to her. I move the spatula around some more, but whatever is stuck in there won’t budge. I pull the spatula out and try to slip my hand in, but it only travels about six inches.
“Here, let me try.” She floats to my side, and picks up a pair of tongs. If I were a little less enamored, I may have snuck my hand onto the stack of bills sitting in the drawer next to me and had one wedged between my fingers when she wasn’t looking. But as it is, I’m intoxicated.
Jessica is, in a word, delectable. Her grandmother is Native American, Ojibwa, and the blend with her Caucasian side makes her skin the honey-ripe color of a Georgia peach. She never wears makeup, never poofs or rats her hair. Her beauty is au natural, and no matter what those cosmetics commercials imply, let me tell you that guys really dig that. Every shmuck I know wants to date Jessica Hughes. Every one of us imagines what it would be like to run his hands over that honey skin and tangle his fingers in those dark tresses. But no one dates Jessica Hughes. We dream of her, pant over her, talk about her when it’s just the guys. But Jessica is...untouchable.
Her father is a minister.
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Tuesday, July 20, 2010
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15 comments:
LOL. Poor MC -- that last line really does create a bummer of a situation for him.
Loved the description in the second to last para, and the sense of a goal (though never clearly stated) for your character, that is somewhat unnattainable. Nice conflict.
The voice is also amazing :)
Haha, this is so cute! Loved the last few lines, what a shame! :D Looking good to me!
Aww poor MC! I feel so bad for him and his unrequited love :(
Great descriptions! I totally sympathize with him, she sounds sexy :) But I also want to know why he's trying to steal a bill, interesting... <.<
I LOVE the description of her skin. And the last few sentences are just incredible. So much emotion while still being in a guy's head.
I love the last sentence and the decriptions about Jessica:)
Awww. Poor guy, lol. And I don't think it sounded outdated at all :]
Liked these lines.
But no one dates Jessica Hughes. We dream of her, pant over her, talk about her when it’s just the guys.
I like what they reveal about the character. :)
Love the voice because the last line seems like he feels like saying 'dammit.' That made me giggle a little. He sounds completely taken by her. :D
There's a girl JUST like Jessica at my high school. The voice is pitch-perfect in this snip - loved it!! :D
This is awesome. your male POV is so guy-ish ans has a great flow. I'm liking him.
My father is a minister too :)
xx
Again proclaiming my love for this WIP. You are so talented and I can't wait to add you to my "favorite author" list! :)
Hmm, it's the minister's daughter that's usually the wildest, what with rebellion and all that. . . Curious to see which way you go with this.
The voice was really good in this! I want to read more! Very cool stuff :)
Thanks all for the lovely comments.
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