This is a continuation of last's week's teaser. Everyone was so nice with their comments last week, but really I can take some harsh criticism if you want to give it to me. Even though it is Christmas.... just kidding. To get you up to speed, Nikki has encountered Sam on the top of Minneapolis's Foshay Tower, where he is prepared to jump.
Sorry, this teaser has been removed.
Sorry, this teaser has been removed.
19 comments:
You ended it there?
How can you possibly end it there?!
You may have a riot on you hands XD
I want more! Does he jump? Does she kiss him?
Lol.
I love this line: "This was not the time or the place to resuscitate my hormones." So great. I kinda like how casually he's treating the whole jumping off a ledge thing--makes me wonder what his reasons are-- but I'd have to read more to know if I think it's realistic or not.
You are driving me CRAZY with these teases. DON'T JUMP, SAM! Get off the ledge and live happily ever after with Nikki! :-P
I really, really like this story. Course, I'm a sucker for the old "love of a good woman/girl saving a man", so ya know!
This line was awesome!
"I appreciate you using me as a guinea pig for this Good Samaritan campaign of yours, but trust me. I’m not the kind of guy you want to save.”
Supreme awesomeness!
"This was not the time or the place to resuscitate my hormones" -Great line.
Oh, I remember this story from last week! I loved it. This was good too. I might like to see a little more panic from the mc. I mean, she might can use this to stop the guy from jumping but it's scary. Anyway, I'm enjoying it a lot.
p.s. People don't really give harsh criticism on teases. It's more for fun and endless praise :)
He really laughed then, and I have to say, those double dimples were making quite an impression.
Yumm dimples. I love the voice in this!!
And yes, in 365 she has leukemia (boo :[) I probably should have thrown that into the summary.
La-la - Yes, I was kind of getting that impression. Too used to the SYW thread I guess. :) And good thought about her feeling some more panic. Will have to add more of that in, though she does become more panicked at the end (not posted here).
As for Sam acting fearless, well that's intentional, but that's also chapter 2 which I probably won't post. Have to leave some mystery.
Thanks for all the comments. I'll be posting the ending of this scene next week.
Ohhh seriously loved this! Awesome writing and great story line! I love Sam! Please don't jump! lol
My eyes, they do this --> O.O Amazing writing and description. I definitely want to read more!
I'm with Amna, I'm voting for a riot ;P
Your writing is amazing--a lot of good one-liners as well as emotions and inner dialogue. And of course the good girl saves "bad" boy...I'm definitely a fan :D
I'm voting for a riot too! I can't wait til next week to see how this ends. I love the voice. It's amazing!
And I really want to find out more about this boy. Is he going to jump? Why is he so fearless and... gah! So many questions!
This was a really good snip :)
Love the last line! I'd definitely read on! I like how she's taken what she's learned in therapy and tries to apply it to this situation. And, aw, dimples!
More. Now. :D I want to keep going!
Great dialogue and voice! Especially loved the last line :)
This is good snip. The last part caught me completely by surprise - I really want to know what happens.
Cliffhanger! Now I really want to know what happens. Looking forward to your next teaser!
Your dialogue is so alive (does that even make any sense?) Love it.
Awww no! Why is he jumping?! You have the dialogue down and you write really fluidly. Loved this.
The sign (or at least a sign!) of a good writer to me is when you can handle good dialogue interspersed with just the right amount of description to keep the story moving forward. This teaser felt very fluid and natural to me. Good job! And great last line too.
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