I just added this scene yesterday, so forgive me for the non-existent editing. I thought about giving an intro, but I think that it's pretty much self-explanatory and for the parts that aren't, I'd rather save the mystery.
Sorry this teaser has been removed.
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Monday, January 11, 2010
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14 comments:
Good dialogue! I always comment on good dialogue, but it's so hard to pull off well. I also liked, "On the other hand.... damn the other hand. When was chivalry going to get cool again?"
Very nice piece. Mysterious and the chigger bites (use to get them all the time when I visited me grandma—Thank God for Calamine!) was a nice touch for me.
This sucked me in from start to finish. I'm wondering what the deal is, and what he thinks he saw her doing. Very mysterious. O.o
I love her attitude, her fierceness when she gets mad and how she doesn't want to bend for him buttt...damn the other hand.
Really nice! I'm definitely intrigued, and I like their dialogue.
I like this. I like how the MC is obviously happy that Seth cared enough to fight for her, yet acted cold to him. Interesting dynamic between the two.
Loved the dialog and intrigued by the characters!
Mmm...If not chigger bites, what is causing the bites? I'm definitely intrigued. This has a great flow to it!
Ooh I loved the dialogue between these too. I agree with everyone else, your characters are intriguing and this flows very well. :)
I have to echo above sentiments, and compliment you on your dialogue! :]
I'm a calamine girl. Used to get covered head-to-toe in the stuff as a kid in summer :) Really like your characters and the dialogue.
Your characters are fun to read. I love how they communicate! Nice piece. LOL
Good dialogue and I loved the voice of this :D
I was intrigued from the beginning to the end. You have a great voice :)
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